Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Why I Believe in God All of a Sudden

First of all, I don't want to say that I just started believing in God.  It's not that I didn't believe before.  It's just that, well, I wasn't sure what I believed.  For me, church was more of a social experience.  It was more of a tradition that I wanted to share with my family. A place I went to see friends.  An excuse to wear a cute outfit and do something "good" for the soul.  I hoped their was Heaven.  And there are various things that have happened in my life to convince me that there IS, but that's not what I want to talk about right now.  What I want to talk about is the POWER of PRAYER.  I want to assure you that God IS listening, and He can bring your wildest dreams to fruition.



Let me explain... I've had a long life.  Though I'm only 33, I feel like I may as well be 63 for the amount of jobs, relationships, vehicles, homes, ups, and downs I have experienced.  I've been through numerous groups of friends.  I've accomplished tons of goals... goals that I didn't even really have, and yet they were sitting in the palm of my hand.  I've had some serious downs.. ones where I honestly didn't want to live anymore.  Where I begged and prayed to be in Heaven where all my grandparents and former pets would be there to greet me.  Clearly those prayers were not answered.  I wondered if anyone was even listening.  

Another thing I hate to admit to is a severe case of agism.  I got married a little later in the game than I'd have liked and I knew that I wouldn't have long to enjoy my marriage before kids would have to pop out.  If I wanted them, that is.  I wondered if I could even get pregnant, and although I claimed I was in no rush, you know that after a few months of reckless activity, you wonder why an "accident" hasn't happened yet.  Well don't ask me why, but I always wanted twins.  I told my friends.  I told my mom.  I told everyone except my husband, because he'd probably have gone running away in fear.  But, I'd never told God.  Last October I was in a really low point in my life.  I was depressed.  I was lost.  I said a prayer to God and said please please please let me get pregnant and let it be twins!  And do you know what?? I HAVE TWINS.  Two months later the test came back positive and the first sonogram told me there were two.  Two!!!

Nearly a month later, we went for our 2nd sonogram.  The technician was quiet.  They told us that both babies had a lot of nuchal fluid (we weren't even to the "folds" yet) and that the chances were more likely than not that both would have Downs or another chromosomal abnormality. They told us that it was time to discuss termination and decide what we would want to do.  I won't even go any further about the devastation we felt, but I will tell you my mom was never worried.  She knew.  And in my heart of hearts, I knew they would be fine too.  I knew because I had asked for these twins.  I knew that God had put them there.  And that he would NOT have answered that prayer if it wasn't meant to be.  These are my kids today.  Healthy as horses.  Whatever that means.  

Fast forward a few months and I'm waiting in line at the Dollar Tree.  I'm obviously pregnant, but not too pregnant, holding a couple of greeting cards in my hand.  The woman in front of me turns around, does a double take, and says with sincere entusiasm.. "Oh my gosh twins!! Congratulations!".  I look over myself... my outfit, my items, my purse, etc.  WTF.  Hoooow does she know I have twins??? Clearly flustered, I stop listening momentarily.  

"Thank you, but I'm confused.  How do you know I'm having twins?"

"Well you are aren't you?"

"Yes I am.  How did you know? Are you a psychic or something?"

She smiles and chuckles.  She explains that she is not psychic but that she is just open to hearing God.  God speaks to her in ways that others cannot hear.  She tells me that He wants me to know that He heard my prayer.  He is rewarding me for publicly acknowledging Him.  He wants me to know that I have an exciting life ahead of me.   He wants me to know that I am going to go through a rough time in the pregnancy and that things may get traumatic, but not to worry.  Everything will be fine.  There are wonderful things ahead for me.  

She told me this.  A complete stranger told me this in line at the Dollar Tree.  She proceeded to hand me a $20 bill and refuse to let me pay for her items or to give it back, despite multiple attempts.  She told me it was a blessing and to never turn down a blessing.  She said to just pass it on.  And I have remembered to do so ever since.  

For the record, her predictions have been on point thus far.  I DID have a sudden traumatic birth of my twins.  We spent 6 weeks in the NICU and my recovery process was certainly not the norm.  Bonding happened over an extended period of time.  There were no magical moments there.  But guess what?  Things ARE okay.  We are adjusted and wonderful.  And I simply cannot wait to find out what those exciting things are ahead.  God is listening.  And now I am listening too. 

Spread the Word.  






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3 comments:

  1. What a wonderful testimony Michelle! Congratulations on your two blessings. May God continue to reveal himself to you in new ways every day. Your neighbor at Women with Intention

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  2. Wow. What an amazing story! God is good!

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  3. I can't even count the number of times God has come through for me. We're guaranteed that life will be full of struggles and difficult circumstances. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude, though, that the God of the universe cares enough to hear my humble prayers. No, prayer isn't like having a genie in a bottle. It isn't some magic. It is a heart of faith reaching out to an all-powerful Heavenly Father and saying, "Will you help me?" I'm glad God delights in giving us the desires of our hearts. Great post!

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