... and by ruin, I mean it was the most amazing, precious, absolute best thing that has ever happened to me. Ever. But seriously, I did ruin it.
We arrived at the beach Saturday for family beach week and the boyfriend was fixed on taking me out to this expensive restaurant on the water. It was so sweet, but with a full load of home owner maintenance bills and a truck that broke down the night before, I could not even imagine spending that kind of money on a meal. “Are you fracking crazy?” I wondered. How financially irresponsible to blow your paycheck on a fancy dinner when we have grown up things to take care of! He even suggested an alternate spot and I squashed that idea too. We are at the beach. There are a million other fun, less expensive places that we can hang out.
He convinced me that we would go to the nice place only for happy hour. Ok, that’s reasonable. We got ready to go out and he tried on 3 different shirts, even pulling out the iron to get ready. We were meeting up with friends who apparently were also in on it and were there to take pictures of the big moment. Unfortunately the parking lot was a mad house and we couldn’t get anywhere near.
We ended up at another beach bar, which he deemed not an appropriate place for a proposal. Plan ruined. Proposal postponed. We eventually made our way back to the condo where we were sleeping on an air mattress in a room with 3 additional people other than ourselves (another reason why I definitely had NO IDEA what he was up to).
The next day, I was sad and emotional. It was my last day to spend with him before we went back to work and I’d be away from home a lot. We were also hanging around a couple of cute kids, so I was doing a lot of thinking about our situation and thinking how badly I wanted to be married and have a family of my own, but I was already 30 and it seemed nowhere in sight. It might be too late for me. I don’t know if I even want that stuff at this point. My lips are quivering, I want to cry, oh no I’m crying and I’m still on the beach.
We quickly got off of the beach and away from family. I just wanted to go to bed and cry it out. It was a bad day and I was in a bad mood. I laid down on the air mattress and began to sob. I wouldn’t tell him why I was sad because I knew he would think it was dumb, so I just kept crying into the pillow. He tried to comfort me and tell me how much he loved me, and then said he wanted to marry me. Thank goodness. Keep saying it and I might start to feel better.
Next he said he had something for me and took out a box. (Yes, I am still crying, because I am sad, on an air mattress.) Oh no. Not now. Not like this. But my eyes saw it. There is no turning back now.
I threw a blanket over my face and started crying more as he told me what he had wanted to do. I ruined it! I’m still ruining it! I’m in the middle of ugly crying; I’m on an air mattress; I haven’t showered today. I even at one point think I told him to put it away and that I didn’t want it right now. Except that I do want it. I wanted it yesterday. And what am I going to do now? Pretend I didn’t see it? It was the point of no return and now I wanted to see. I reallllllly wanted to find out what was in that box.
He opened the box. Wow, I’m looking at it. Is it mine? Do I get to keep it? Turns out it was and he put it on my finger. I was shaking like a leaf, still crying but happy this time. I’m pretty sure I was in shock.
The rest of our talk was one of pure joyfulness and will always be a memory for he and I alone, and I kinda love that. No audience, no pictures, no interruptions. Just us. (On an air mattress. Lol.)
For the record ladies, if he wants to take you somewhere nice, let him. If you’re prayers are being answered, allow it to happen. And if you ruin your own proposal, remember it can only go up from there! ;)